sábado, 28 de julho de 2012

Balão Surpresa





Aí esta uma grande surpresa, ele estava a espera de que?

There is a big surprise, what he was waiting for?

Criatividade de pobre





A criatividade será sempre uma solução

Creativity is always a solution

Nude beach, really funny




Praia Bonita

Beautiful beach.

sexta-feira, 27 de julho de 2012

Desemprego




Nem sempre o desemprego é mau, pelo menos para alguns.

Unemployment is not always bad, at least for some.

quinta-feira, 26 de julho de 2012

Surpresa



Mas que grande surpresa, penso que a surpresa não é o homem mas sim o tubo que ele lhe entrega

What a big surprise, I think the surprise is not the man but the pipe that he delivers

Angle




Existem varias perspectivas de ver a realidade

There are several prospects of seeing reality

Bruxaria

Alguém pode me explicar que tipo de bruxaria é essa

Cuidado os cães sabem tudo o que te vai na mente.

Watch all the dogs know what you think

terça-feira, 24 de julho de 2012

sexta-feira, 13 de julho de 2012

Dating



Qual é o problema.?

What is the problem?

This has happened to you

 

Acontece sempre, quando estou no bar estou bem, quando volto para casa, acontece isto, se calhar vou é melhor  ficar no bar.

It always happens when i'm at the bar i´m ok, when i come home that happens, maybe is better stay in the bar.

Man in Black


Optical illusion

Gaze at the image below in the middle, with a long yellow dots will disappear


Gatinha louca

Dessert


O que acham desta sobremesa

What do you think this dessert

Pneumonia

"Doctor, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? Ive heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.""Dont worry, it wont happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

JOKE - Monkey

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk."

The monkey looked up at the officer and nodded his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.

Again, the monkey nods his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey.

"What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up to his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer. The monkey nods his head "Yes."

"What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

"They were smoking marijuana?" The monkey nods his head "Yes."

"What else?" The monkey motioned "kissing."

"They were kissing, too?" asked the astounded officer. The monkey nods his head "Yes."

"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked." The monkey nods his head "Yes."

"What were you doing during all this?"

"Driving" motioned the monkey.

JOKE - Electric Train

Electric Train

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son
playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

Joke of the Week

Dear Mom and Dad,

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down.

YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute.

He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.

The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious.

Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do.

His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the village in Africa from which he came.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

Yours,
Your Loving Daughter.